Thinking about Asperger's when Chance was little

Jill,
I am new here too and have a son much younger than yours, but your e-mail just really hit home with me.
I copied some of your comments that resonated:

but, my "therapeutic parenting style" as my therapist calls it
probably allowed him to progress beyond many of the usual tell-tale age
specific signs of the autistic spectrum (unbeknownst to me at the time).

I try very hard to follow attachment parenting (Dr. Sears), and I do believe this has helped my son a tremendous amount in providing an environment that minimized the stress for him (although I sometimes think that it has been harder on me). In fact, we just spent 3 months traveling to Michigan, Virginia and North Carolina, and with the resulting stress of being away from home and Daddy, he was showing far more AS characteristics than he had ever done before. It took at least a month of being home before he started returning to his _normal_ self.
 

When you live something
everyday, I think you lose perspective on what is unusual enough to warrant
pointing out to the professionals.

So true!! It has taken seeing Chance with other kids, and also observing another AS kid in our homeschooling circle to realize that Chance was more than just a little high-strung.
 

I can't leave him unsupervised with boys his age and
older.  Adults love him.  He's fantastic with younger children.

Again, the exact same situation here. He plays so wonderfully with his younger brother, but with his peers, he misreads the social situations, pushes when he should be pulling, and just doesn't "fit" in. His younger brother seems to be a different animal completely, Jack knows exactly what to do, when and how to talk to the other kids, and fits in wonderfully. I read in one article that AS kids like to be alone and avoid social contact, but Chance desperately wants a "best" friend his own age and is always going up to kids and asking them if they will be his "friend".
As for support Jill, what you've done for your son by keeping him home and homeschooling him is already a success story - imagine what would have happened if you had kept him in school. I am fervently hoping that as our kids get older, making friends and having a "life" will get easier.  It is funny, I took the boys to the Chabot Space and Science Center for their weekly Telescope Maker's Workshop (Chance is fascinated with astronomy and is just dying for a telescope), and I swear I met two men who, on the surface, seemed very AS (wouldn't look me in the eye, had to be encouraged to come and talk to us, but very friendly and helpful once we broke the ice). And of course, we've all heard the jokes about the halls of the companies in Silicon Valley being filled with AS adults!
Kris